Mail from a frustrated victim of chain mails

I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008 and continuing it in 2009 also....... Because of your kindness:

• I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
• I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
• Forwarded hundreds of mails but still waiting for FREE DESKTOP, LAPTOP, CAMERA, CELLPHONE etc….
• I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer...
• I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.
• I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill with calls to Uganda, Pakistan, Singapore and Tokyo.
• I also stopped drinking anything out of a Can for fear that I will get sick from the rat faeces and urine.
• When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
  
• I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times.. (Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1993...)
• Still open to help somebody from Nigeria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle's property of $ 100 million. So much trustworthy.
• I have forwarded 35 emails to 400 people hoping that Ericsson or Nokia will send me latest mobile phones but those models are also obsolete now.
• Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those emails with friendship ppts, mazhabi, quotes etc. Now most of those 'Wishes' are already married (to someone else)
  

NOW IMPORTANT NOTE: If you do not send this e-mail to at least 11,246 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will Pee on your head today at 6:30pm. Nothing has happened till now......... ......... ... but who knows. So please forward.